11.28.2011

Movember Mondays: Week #4, The FINAL Moustchapter

It's almost December 1st, which marks the end of Movember, the beginning of clogged drains and the increase in razor sales (Gillette rejoices!). Sadly, most Movember guys only Stache themselves for the 30 days and then quit cold turkey, proving they just couldn't hang with the men the other 335 days. There are both pros and cons to the December 1st shave, though:
  • It's not just in your mind that your girlfriend/wife loves you more now without the extra hair. PRO!
  • The feeling of inferiority and immediate regret with the last swipe of the razor. CON.
  • The feeling of seeing yourself for who you really are in the mirror. PRO?
  • You can't talk about/twirl your mustache anymore. CON (for you). PRO (for everyone else).
  • The freedom to give children candy without fear they will run away. PRO! (if you're a creep) 
  • Food no longer gets stuck on your face ... as often. PRO (for you). CON (for us).
No matter if there are pros or cons of the Stache, Movember unites us into one Mustache-lovin' group for at least a few days. Especially those four guys from Sector 9 Skateboards. They transformed from wee-boys into MEN in the span of a few weeks. We had our concerns throughout their growth process, but because they kept chugging along, we didn't quit them. We kept watching, studying, wondering and at times being confused. As much turmoil as was experienced, we're glad we did because here they are in their fourth and final week in all their mustached glory from pre-mustache to Pro

So who can grow the sweetest Stache?


KEN HURD 'DA THIRD
Analysis: Sweetest Confidence Skyrocketer Stache. Went from negative zero (Stache) to (super) hero.

CRAIG BECK
Analysis: Sweetest Mood Stache. Thickness instead of color determines this face accessory's function.

 DEREK HALL
Analysis: Sweetest Hue. No "Just For Men" needed here. 

 GREG BERGEN
Analysis: Sweetest Stacher Style. Not so much actual style of the Stache because it's a pretty basic one, but the style of the one who grows it just makes it better. Mustache rides hat? Fake wave? Tie t-shirt? Yup. Plus his Stache came out of nowhere. See week #2.

It's amazing what 30 days can do to your face.  

Case Study Analysis conclusion of Subjects:
The conclusion is there isn't one. We don't want to pick favorites. Plus, we don't have any favorites. And if we were to only pick one winner, that means there would be three losers and we just don't think Stache growing is synonymous with loser. BUT if we absolutely had to pick a winner, SOLELY based on this week's photo and not actual growth, it would be Hurd the Third. He just looks so angelic.

For those of you who wondered who was the mastermind/puppetmaster behind the Movember mustache growth of the four guys this past month ... it's a chick! 
That's Krista Soccolich. And if it wasn't for her, the four Movember men with the sweet Staches featured here would still just be "those guys." 



For those who love the Mustache'd skate deck the above Subjects are holding, you can buy it on Sector 9's site. Proceeds will go to Movember. So basically you can help Movember without growing a mustache. Aren't you a fancy, generous cheater?


11.21.2011

Movember Mondays Week #3: Stachesgiving

Week three of Movember is here, which also means Turkey Day is quickly approaching and that proves to be important in this Stache study. You must be thinking: Why is it important? How are those related? What the heck are you talking about? Why do we care? Well, first, RELAX. That's a lot of questions. Jeez. And second, I WILL TELL YOU. At least the gist of it. Here you go ... 

All the the pig-out-and-sleep (from the food coma) behavior of the nearing holiday parallels Movember Stache growth. See, you take these guys who get all amped on growing a mustache for Movember. They've always wanted to, but they don't handle change very well or they were scared of rejection or of growing a puny Stache or a Stache so awesome that their personality could never keep up. But here comes their friends who talk them into it and because it's for a good cause, they're able to carry that around as a security blanket. If someone teases them about their lack of follicle growth (and therefore threatening their masculinity), they can just say "I'm doing it for prostate cancer awareness, man" and then the Stache bully can feel bad about himself while the Stache grower can secretly cry at home later on. 

Anyways, these normally hesitant Stache growers get excited to grow their Staches. As the fast changes on their faces happen from before Movember through Week #2, they indulge. They tell everyone, they find ways to bring up their Stache or Movember, they love answering questions about their Stache, they touch their face bristles all day long (ahem, they want to be profiled on Respect the Stache), basically they PIG OUT on the Stache smorgasbord feast. THEN, here comes Week #3 and then all of a sudden Stache growth has plateaued. Ahh, here comes the Stache coma. The Movember growers have settled into their faces all cozy-like and they enter a Stache coma. Comforted and confident in their achievement, they snooze past questions and comments, letting their Stache speak for itself. It's ... STACHESGIVING.

Now,  let's conduct a quick analysis check-in of our Subjects on this Stachesgiving.

Week #3 Observation of Subjects 1 -4
Above: Week #3. Below: Week: #2

As opposed to the individual analysis we gave them from pre-Movember week through Week #2, all four subjects have been combined into one analysis for Week #3 because they have seemed to unite on the Stache front. They've proven to be celebrating Stachesgiving to it's fullest extent. Where there was worry for their masculinity well-being at the beginning, nerves have been calmed as their Staches have grown out nicely and are almost equal in sweetness to each other in their own way.  But more importantly, their high confidence levels have been noted. As exhibited in the photo panels above, the top panel is chock full of "I look goooood," letting their Stache speak for itself while the bottom panel says "I have an actual mustache finally. Please let me tell you why. Please?" 

Special notes: Subject #1: Experiencing stagnant Stache but confidence is noticed in subtle smile. Subject #2: Confidence is spilling over the brim. Big smile, now hat-less, curls a-flowing, Ken Hurd the III is feeling good. Subject #3: Bored might have been mistaken for smug in Week #2, but he has every right. It's a worthy Stache. Week #3 just gave him more confidence. He put his aviators on. Top Gun visual references are serious business. Subject #4: His photo gesture indicates he's number 1, but he's actually Subject #4. Duh. Number one in Stache sweetness? Maybe. We will see. But what the photo panel above doesn't show is that Subject #4 wore his Sunday's Best (see below). He's doing his best to impress by taking attention away from his Stache, and it could work because that's a pretty awesome shirt, but this isn't a Shirt Case Study. I object! His distractions will be striked from the record. 


Happy Stachesgiving!!

(Subjects and photos courtesy of Sector 9 Skateboards)


To support the above subjects (AKA the Sector 9 team) in their Movember mission, visit:

11.14.2011

Movember Mondays: Week #2 ... The Staches, They Are A-Changin.

Shhh ... Hear that? That's the sound of rustling face hairs. Tons of guys around the world running their fingers along their new-found mustache hairs. It's the second week of Movember and the males growing their Staches for the cause are walking a little taller, puffing their chests out a little more and making sure to steer clear from playgrounds and ice cream trucks. Facebook feeds are blowing up with weird, hairy photos and girlfriends/wives are getting better at acting as if they really like all that extra stuff on the guys' faces. 


Now, some of these guys may not have a Stache that's super impressive (yet?) to you, but to them it's a head-turner. At this point in Stache growth, it is typical for the male to experience the Magic Mirror effect (MME). They look in the mirror and they see a Stache that is the equivalent of Hulk Hogan's, but in reality it's more like that 16-year-old-kid-who-used-to-work-at-that-one-Blockbuster-down-the-street-that-closed-down's pubescent "mustache." The MME is strong so there's nothing we can say to change their minds. And why would we want to? Shattering the MME is just pure evil. 


Now with that said, our Movember Monday subjects may have some obvious symptoms of MME, but they are going full-force to achieve sweet Stache status and getting there is the only cure. So we encourage disillusionment for the benefit of the Stache world. 
Let's see where our Subjects are now ...  the comparative analysis continues ... 



Week #2 Observation of Subjects.
(Subjects courtesy of Sector 9 Skateboards)

Subject #1: "Derek Hall." We inquired what attention he's received and this was stated: "Other than women flocking to me like the salmon of Capistrano ... it's usually just odd looks." (Note: Womp, womp.)
Week 1
Week 2
Comparative analysis of Subject #1: Sarcasm was noted on women flocking to him, but flocking of some sort (of the hair kind) can certainly be identified. That or he filled in the Week 1 growth with a sharpie. 

Subject #2: "Ken Hurd THE Third." What attention has he received?: "Great attention! I love to explain the whole thing to them."

Week 1
Week 2
Comparative analysis of Subject #2: Subject likes to explain the "whole thing" to people, but if the actual thing is not whole yet, what is explained? The opacity has decreased a bit but we want to know if once the partial thing is whole, will it be as curly as the locks protruding from his head (or hat)?  Hope so! Also note, he has upgraded confidence from awkward pose to thoughtful hand on chin pose. Nice touch.


Subject #3: "Craig Beck." Attention received?: "A good amount for sure. Most everyone is pumped on it and it's a great conversation piece" 
Week 1
Week 2
Comparative analysis of Subject #3: Positive growth since week 1 but positive face has decreased. Subject went from a level 7 excitement in the Week 1 photo to level -2 excitement in Week 2's photo. Why the long face? At least there's a long(ish) stache. Everyone is pumped on it, but him? His conversation piece should give him a Red Bull.

Subject #4: "Greg Bergen." Attention received?: "I definitely had a few older women that loved it and had trouble controlling themselves."
Week 1
Week 2
Comparative analysis of Subject #4: Chief Little Sprouts never ceases to amaze. He went from Stache reverting in Week 1 to a real-deal Stache in Week 2. Plus points: surfing a fake wave without a board while holding two Bud Lights, while keeping his balance with more than sprouts on his lip. Neutral points: older women without control sounds scary. Chief Little Sprouts may now actually be Pale Face with a Stache, but he'll always be Chief Little Sprouts to us.

Analysis Week #1 Summary: Subject #4 eeked his way up to approaching sweetness status real fast. The others may have had a slow week but they still have our attention. Week 3 is looking very promising. 



To support the above subjects (AKA the Sector 9 team) in their Movember mission, visit:


11.07.2011

Movember Mondays: Week One Analysis - Little Sprouts

It's the first Movember Monday in our case study analysis and we've observed major growth with one of the Movember Subjects and ... some progress with the others. And by some progress, I mean Slow Operating Mustache Expansion progress. However, S.O.M.E is an affliction that haunts men around the world. When you want to grow a mustache, you want it now, not sometime in the future. Patience is overrated and hard to endure. Plus, being overpowered with the want to grow, enables stache goggles where every man you see is a replica of Magnum P.I. Hope is not lost though. A wise man once said: "Impatience doesn't sow the seeds of stache." And he was right. S.O.M.E. victims are able to stick it out past the prickly patches and on to thick gloriousness, while other S.O.M.E sufferers call it quits and just end up with a cold upper lip.

Good news. We have achieved a medical breakthrough in this analysis: Studies* show that Movember growers are immune to the negative outcomes of S.O.M.E. Those that are late bloomers do not get dismayed, they just keep on truckin. And those that are full bloomers, keep on looking in the mirror. The power of Movember brother unity and a good cause trump unsightly and premature sproutlings. The below subjects prove this to be true.

So, Who can grow the sweetest stache? A comparative analysis to further along the study.

Week #1 Observation of Subjects.
(Subjects courtesy of Sector 9 Skateboards)

Subject #1: "Derek Hall." Subject's updated case study comments: "It's an easy conversation piece that ultimately leads to spreading some knowledge."
Pre-Movember
Week 1
Notes on comparative analysis of Subject #1: stache growth has skyrocketed to 43.874%. Impressive. Looks like his conversation piece has not only spread some knowledge, but it has spread across his face. And fast.

Subject #2: "Ken Hurd III." (Note: rhyming name still fun to say) Subject's updated case study comments: "Movember is so cool, I even got my dad on our team!"

Pre-Movember
Week 1
Notes on comparative analysis of Subject #2: Pretty cool, appears to have a optical illusion stache. From one angle, it looks non-existent, but tilt your head 27 degrees and THERE IT IS! Upon closer inspection, it is not an illusion but an opaque stache. Is opacity in his DNA? See aforementioned father, Ken Hurd Two.


Subject #3: "Craig Beck." Subject's updated case study comments: "It helps me appear more sophisticated." 
Pre-Movember
Week 1
Notes on comparative analysis of Subject #3: Initial thought that came to mind is the same thing that mothers tell their teenage daughters: You're starting to fill in nicely. Second thought:  Your sophistication brings out your eyes.

Subject #4: "Greg Bergen." Subject's updated case study comments: "[I've experienced] A few scared children for sure."
Pre-Movember
Week 1
Notes on comparative analysis of Subject #4: Greg and his stache may not only scare children but it scares me a little too now. How did it revert to pre-pre-Movember? Is that possible? Trying to figure out how it grew less one week later is hurting my brain. However, I have faith in Greg to grow a stache by week #4 that is also deemed a child-safety concern. But for now, we'll call him Chief Little Sprouts.

Analysis Week #1 Summary: Subject #1 shows all signs of sweet stache. But subjects #2 - 4 look spontaneous enough to surprise us all. 



To support the above subjects (AKA the Sector 9 team) in their Movember mission, visit:

*By studies, we mean just this one study. And by study, we mean making stuff up.

11.02.2011

The Movember Movement: A Case Study

Occupy Wall Street is so October. The month of November marks the start of the movement of Occupy Your Face ...  with hair. Loooong* ago, a bare-lipped (not by choice) revolutionary thought, "A quandary: How can thy get ONE month of having a mustache without thy lady nagging to shave it off?" Upon remembering that NOBODY likes cancer, he came up with the genius idea to get guys to grow mustaches for the sake of raising money for prostate cancer awareness which also means wives and girlfriends can't help but be proud of their man's stache throughout all of November. An entire month of stache freedom. Movember was born.** 

In honor of the legendary creator of Movember and the movement itself, Respect the Stache would like to provide our readers with a case study of the 2011 Movember follicular progression. Throughout the duration of the experiment, November 1 - November 30, we will track and analyze the follicle growth of the subjects to discover: 

Who can grow the sweetest stache? 

Introductory to the Subjects.
(Subjects courtesy of Sector 9 Skateboards)

Subject #1: Answers to the name of "Derek Hall." Age: 29. Subject's case study comments: "If you've got it, flaunt it. That applies to mustaches, right?" 
Notes on initial analysis of Subject #1: stache growth at 0.2%. Will have to see if he flaunts it when finally at 100%.

Subject #2: Answers to the name of "Ken Hurd III." Age: not provided (note to self: what is he trying to hide?). Subject's case study comments: "Ladies love it!!!!!! Except for my wife!!!!!!" 
Notes on initial analysis of Subject #2: Not even a 5 o'clock shadow (or even a 1 o'clock). Overuse of exclamation points, but his full name rhymes so he breaks even. Will have to see if his wife changes her mind (about the stache).

Subject #3: Answers to the name of "Craig Beck." Age: 39. Subject's case study comments: "I've been known to get creative with my facial hair throughout the year. Gotta keep people guessing, ya know?" (note to self: I do not know, but nod and pretend that I do)
Notes on initial analysis of Subject #3: Stubble is present. Fast grower or false start? I'm already guessing, so I think I get it now. Still, nod and pretend that I do, just in case I actually don't.

Subject #4: Answers to the name of: Greg Bergen. Age: 35. Subject's case study comments: "My mom said I looked like Robert Redford from Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. So I got that going for me."
Notes on initial analysis of Subject #4: Stache is nonexistent but evidence is seen that it will exist one day. Hopefully soon. His mom sounds cool, wish she could grow a stache so we can interview her too.

Initial Analysis: Stay tuned to Respect the Stache for case study updates of Subjects 1 - 4 on Movember Mondays.

MOVEMBER MEMBERS: Enjoy your facial freedom. You've got a whole month. But beware! Come December 1 at the stroke of midnight, 44% of wives/girlfriends will corner their Movember men in the bathroom while 53% will shake you awake. And all 97% will be holding a razor in one hand and shaving cream in the other.*** 


*Loooong is subjective. Respect the Stache didn't verify when Movember actually started. It just sounds better to use lots of o's to prove a point. 
**Not a factual history of the Movember movement 
***Please allow +/- 50 for statistical error

To support the Sector 9 team in their Movember mission, visit: