Finance Your Stache with Mustachioed Musician John Oates*

There has never been a better investment than a Stache. The whiskers of a Stache-in-progress is a down payment (including the teasing that comes along with it) for a better life later on--filled with attention, compliments, free stuff, and idolization. If I was your financial adviser, I'd recommend growing a Stache. Unfortunately, Quicken beat me to it.

The self-proclaimed "America's #1 Personal Finance Software" is promoting the Stachers of the country and throwing a John Oates into the mix (yup, that guy from Hall & Oates). Together with Budweiser (the favorite beverage of Staches, after Pabst of course), Quicken is sponsoring the American Mustache Institute's (Respect the Stache's favorite organization) 'Stache Bash 2009. It's an event cool enough to make anyone think that money management can be fun if a Stache is involved. Sadly, when I tried uploading my financial accounts to Quicken's software, not one thing with a Stache popped up. However, I did learn I have more money than I thought, which I think is a fair compromise: cash instead of Stache.

The 'Stache Bash 2009 in St. Louis is "a ridiculous celebration of mustaches and music benefiting Challenger Baseball, where you'll see the winner of the 'Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year' crowned." It's for a good cause, about Staches, etc., etc., so it's going to obviously be a good time. But that's not the point. We should just be excited and honored to see John Oates look like this <----guy again (him, circa 1979/80).

How he'll sing classics like "Maneater" or "Kiss on My List" without the chilling falsetto of Daryl Hall is beyond me ... but with that hairdo and Stache, it almost doesn't matter if he sings anything at all. No one will be looking at anything but the fluff on the lip.

As if the news couldn't get any better: Oates and his Stache have their very own videos. Hall and Oates said it best: "You Make My Dreams Come True (ooh, ooh)." Check out J-Stache: Ride the Mustache on FunnyOrDie.com.

J-Stache - Official Trailer - watch more funny videos

*Respect the Stache focuses on featuring the average Stachers out there, but when there is a lesson learned and a sweet event involved, we'll cover the celebri-stache.