For Best Stache Results: Keep Frozen, Do Not Thaw

"Keep making that face and it'll freeze that way."
"Yeah, that'll happen ... when hell freezes over."

You've heard these things said to you a few times throughout your life and although you probably don't think much of it anymore, the meaning behind these saying are 100% negative. Maybe you want your face to stay that way. It doesn't matter. Your mom thinks it's an ugly face and threatens you in hopes that you won't again remind her that you're capable of not being the cute kid she remembers. Maybe you'd be glad to have whatever you want happen, happen, +PLUS have the benefit of hell freezing over --it's too hot down there anyway. Doesn't matter. Your friend is raining on your parade by telling you your dream won't ever, EVER happen.

Good news and more proof that a Stache makes everything better: Change those negative sayings to include Stache and their whole meaning changes into 100% Awesome.

"Keep growing that Stache and it'll freeze that way." Awesome. A dream come true for daily Stache groomers.

"Yeah, that'll happen ... when your Stache freezes over." Awesome to the max. By simply freezing your Stache, you can make things happen.

Case in point: Exhibit A | Jeff Weidner. Age 22. Hails from Anaheim, CA.

Weidner wanted something, so he froze his enviable Stache.

(In fact, he's a revolutionist. He changed frosted tips from the weird thing boys in Jr. High did to their hair to be cool into something sweet and interesting to look at.)

Anyway, he froze his Stache and BAM!

He turned into Kid Rock.

Hey, who are we to judge?

Wise Weidner Words: "I feel that if I have inspired at least one person in this world to grow a mustache, then my work on this Earth is done."

And to that I must say, "Bawitdaba a bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogy said up jump the boogy."